Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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