So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
