I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
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Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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