i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize