My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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