i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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