Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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