none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
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You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
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My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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