He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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