i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize