we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
