How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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