Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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