I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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