The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
