I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
