turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
