I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
