Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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