I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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