Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
this will be a night to untag.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
