Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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