Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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