theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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