it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
