Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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