im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
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I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
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THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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