I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
