im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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