honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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