I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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