So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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