Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Mom said you looked used
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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