why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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