Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize