eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
