genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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