respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You know, be my cock's hype man.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
