$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
