He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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