Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
