Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize