Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
