What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
