dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
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