I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
