You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
