Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
