forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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