Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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