If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
