Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
