mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
