It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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