yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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