Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
it's like iHOP with fire
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
