Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
