So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
