when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
