He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
