Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
